For some reason, probably related to my deep down desire not to really accomplish anything but instead to waste my time in incredibly silly ways, I'm open at home to random ICQ messages. That means, on the whole, that every so often the flower flashes and I discover that once again someone who not only has never met me but has absolutely no idea of who I am absolutely must tell me about a wonderful site that I should pass on to all my friends. Something along the lines of "smiles" or "love". These I can safely ignore and continue to look for other ways to waste my time.
But sometimes the flashing flower brings with it a "hi, where are you from?", and a five minute distraction from my pressing labors has fallen into my lap. I admit that this is unfair of me, but I always check the information file on my correspondent before answering so that I can write something like "Israel. How's the weather in Australia?" to which I'll get the response "how did you know I was from Australia?" which becomes the start of a pleasant, but short conversation.
"Pleasant" is, of course, a subjective adjective. "Short", on the other hand, is completely objective. We converse for a few sentences such as "what do you do", or (surprisingly often) "where is Israel", until I'm invariably asked
age/sex?to which my reply is usually something along the lines of
old enough to be your father and yes, with my wife, if the kids are asleep and we're not totally exhaustedwhich invariably brings the signing off line of
Oh. Well, nice talking with you.Not that I'm complaining. After all, I don't initiate these conversations and can survive quite well without them. But two questions start raising their hands, begging to be asked, as a result of this very common response.
First, if this virtual medium is a medium in which it's accepted, even expected, that people assume identities different than their own, why are kids who find me via ICQ so quick to accept my answer as the truth? Perhaps I'm actually a fifteen year old playing around with (an admittedly not particularly alluring) identity. If all they're doing is sending out feelers to the world, with very limited chance of actually finding someone with whom they'll actually establish a relationship beyond the bounds of their computers, why is my chosen and/or stated and/or actual identity one with which they don't want to devote even a few more moments?
Second, just what sort of relationship are these kids interested in establishing? Do they want to talk about the music they listen to with someone else who likes the same music? There are better ways of finding people with like tastes than via random ICQ, and even when they find me, they never ask questions such as "do you like...?", or "are you familiar with...?". Frankly, they hardly ever ask anything, as though the objective of the conversation is the conversation itself. I often get the feeling that if they randomly were to fall upon someone similar to them with whom they could actually develop a relationship, they wouldn't know what to ask in order to find those similarities.